Nathan

Housekeeping (metaphorical)

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 18:57:21 GMT

Took the time last night to export my main blog and my writing blog from tumblr last night.

Not really sure how I feel about the latest situation (other than pissed). I do just keep losing or getting shuffled out of spaces through corporate malfeasance, so there's a lot of numbness on top of the anger at how egregiously bad the idea is.

Eventually I'm gonna have to get old text posts up on here, links to things like metatextual rundowns for the Drive (as a series), posts for links to various works as well as my Ao3 as a whole.

Provided I have the energy for it, of course. Haven't used Bsky in almost a year to boot.

At this point the fastest way to contact me is going to be the email listed in my carrd. (I keep that open 24/7, and the only delays on answering are sleep, illness, or needing time to write the reply in a manner that actually makes sense.)

comments

working on a revamp of all my stuff

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 22:38:09 GMT

since i'm working on a total revamp of all my works (not rewrites), just other things going on that require my attention, so everythings privated until thats all done- i thought i'd mention here that i'm doing a few things to prepare for that.

1) i will no longer be using twitter.

There's several reasons for that, but the main is that i just really don't like the direction the site has taken since musk's takeover, and really, my blood pressure dropped quite a bit when I stopped using it.
if you need to contact me, as i said on pillowfort, there's other ways of contacting me listed in my Carrd, which will be re-posted here for convenience. druid-ocelot.carrd.co/

2) I'm working on "cheat sheets" for my main 4 guys as Carrd sites. They're essentially birds-eye overviews and a handful of screenshot references.

this does not mean i will be rp-ing with them in game any more than currently (which is not often at all).
its mostly just to help me keep track of stuff, but they ARE publicly available if people are interested, however they WILL contain spoilers up through current patch, and are DEFINITELY ahead of where the fics are at present, so caution is advised on that front.
information includes:
- Things that either are just character-building/background info that may/may not make it into the fics-
- ex- likes/dislikes,
- my personal explanation for certain things,
- my own personal views on certain things,
- the really boring 'things going on in the background' stuff,
- a rough timeline of events from ARR-6.2, (no timeline for pre-arr, though that is in the works, but probably won't make it into his Carrd for various reasons),
- and if you're lucky (lol) a playlist for the character (or their main ship because i am too invested tbh).

3) the only one of those that is currently made is C'oshta's. its REALLY rough and not super slick or smooth right now, and looks TERRIBLE on mobile, but tbh, i do not have/use a smartphone, so its not my personal priority at this point in time.

it is available at : fight-kill-eat-survive.carrd.co/
yes i did name it that on purpose.

4) if you REALLY REALLY need to get a hold of me, and don't want to dig through the links on my Carrd, you can always DM me on Discord, at Druid_Ocelot#8419

5) if you REALLY REALLY REALLY need to get a hold of me, and don't want to use discord for whatever reason- you can find me on either Vami'li Pardal, Piotr Ymir, Bayan Tailmender, or C'oshta Tia in ffxiv, they're all on Primal-Lamia, just be warned I'm actually exceedingly shy in game and frequently will just teleport away in panic rather than say hi back, but thats a me problem, not anything anyone has done wrong to cause that.

EDIT: ili's Carrd is now available at doctorpardal.carrd.co/

comments

Chapter 17 of 'The Drive' is out

Sat, 03 Dec 2022 00:58:01 GMT

I don't know why but to this day I STILL get flustered when writing smut or heavily nsfw scenes. I ABSOLUTELY enjoy doing so, but boy oh boy do I get embarrassed about it.

comments

Chapter 16 of "The Drive" is out

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 19:49:01 GMT

HUZZAH my brain has managed to stop fighting me and write something in order.

Especially gratifying knowing whats coming up. My brain is in the zone and finally I'm back in my writing groove.

Something about below-freezing temps makes my brain function properly.

I have so many fun thoughts about how the upcoming events go, hopefully I can do them justice.

comments

On my bad knee, the snow, scoliosis, and other things

Fri, 11 Nov 2022 04:25:07 GMT

The cold weather has been extra damp and snowy lately, which is good, I write better in weather that's like this.

Partly due to the pain induced insomnia from my skeletal issues, but at least I'm productive!

I actually finally went and got a cane to walk with, my worse knee (they're both bad, but my right knee is in a much more precarious state) has been acting up more than usual. and I'm glad I did. the fatigue from walking is quite a bit less now that i have something to help with my balance.

I feel like I'm 31 going on 81, and that's not necessarily a good thing.

Between the scoliosis making it vastly more difficult for me to digest food the longer my life goes on, and the Psoriatic Arthritis, I frequently wonder exactly how long I even have left.

Last week I somehow knocked my right shoulder out of place, and completely lost use of my right arm for 3 days until I managed to get my shoulder relocated.

I know better than to seek medical care at this point.

They won't DO anything.

"You're too young for a spinal fusion" at 30.

The pair of spinal curvatures are to the point where exercise is contraindicated for safety reasons, and the only thing they tell me boils down to "lose weight".

When I barely eat at all, because I struggle to digest things that aren't strictly boiled to death, into a nearly pre-digested state. (porridge is my best friend right now, but its not exactly nutritive.)

sure. "lose weight". Like BMI isn't just nonsense. Like the doctors at the catholic hospitals that control the entire medical complex for the city aren't just being biased because I'm fat, visibly trans, and openly queer.

sure. like I'm not already down to eating a single meal a day, and its usually broth based soup or porridge. if it were possible for me to lose weight, I would have, but no.

CLEARLY I'm too young for a spinal fusion, and the only thing that will help is weight loss.

"Too young". I'm in my 30s. my hair is half grey at this point. I STARTED greying at 25. and going grey as a ginger is NOT flattering, It goes this absolutely absurd salt and sable color that from a distance looks like a very sad sandy brownish-grey, and it is NOT flattering.

The only thing I can do is handle it myself.

Handle it myself and write to make my mind go away from the carnival of horrors that is my flesh suit, while my brain screams continually from the pain and stress and terror.

I wish I weren't so inconsistent with what I actually manage to publish. I wish I could stick with a schedule and get it all done on a consistent basis. But sadly, I can't.

comments

Moonlit Pensivity

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 08:14:46 GMT

I legitimately do not think its possible to get a MORE in-character screenshot for C'oshta just before Doma Castle. especially one involving his precious darling baby Argentium (that'd be his chocobo. thats HIS baby)

comments

Vami'li Pardal "fun facts"

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 19:05:49 GMT

ili is allergic to chocobos
ili has... permanently borrowed a fair number of tomes from the grand gubal library, without permission
ili's preferred fields of study are aetheric constructs, medicine, aetherology, alchemy, and his spouse, Tallae.
if ili's clothes show much skin at all, its something Tallae likely picked out, rather than ili.
ili dislikes heavily seasoned food
ili's mother, Vami Pardal, went out of her way to make sure nobody could easily deadname or misgender her youngest son. (including destroying old records, because she's cool like that.
ili does not have a favorite sibling or nibling. he loves them all dearly.
ili and tallae are the COOL relatives who bring all the awesome presents
ili cherishes every gift from his siblings' children, and every single plushy and painting he gets from them as gifts, he displays in his home like they're the best treasures there are (because they are!)
He ALLEDGEDLY bought all his niblings mechanist arms and soul crystals from the manufactory for starlight a few years back. NOBODY CAN PROVE THIS. NOBODY IS TALKING. *do not worry about this*
ili threw Jifuya off of Azys Lla after Hien chose to do nothing about the human trafficker he was harboring.
ili is sorely tempted to do the same to Gaius.
ili can and WILL do rancid things to keep Tallae safe.
he knows this is morally repugnant.
he does not care, Tallae is more important to him ^_^

comments

Vami'li Pardal Bio

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 18:51:06 GMT

Vami'li Pardal

Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te
Youngest of 9 children, the 3rd son. (35 years of age)
Pansexual Transgender man
Has a very supportive, large family
His family is from the Black Shroud, but they are NOT from Gridania, and he WILL point out the difference.
He has a firm dislike of Gridanian policies in regards to racial discrimination, to the point he defected and moved to Ul'dah and enlisted with the Immortal Flames rather than put up with them after what happened with Foulques and the vast majority of Ala Mhigan refugees.
- no, the trees did not say to be racist. elementals don't distinguish between mortals like that. the hearers just use that as an excuse to be racist, the assholes.
His father is a sibling to Nashu Mhakaracca's mother (yes this does mean ili and nashu are cousins.)
Nashu's propensity for explosives is why ili became a chirurgeon in the first place.
works as a Chirurgeon/Adventurer, not the WoL (his spouse Tallae is tho)
is deeply in love with his spouse, Tallae, who is also mutually deeply in love with him
- they are both in deep and severe denial of their mutual feelings.
  - They are like this because their pre-sundering selves were sundered immediately after confessing their feelings to each other and making the decision to run away and elope. Because of this, they are absolutely convinced that if they ever admit their feelings, one or both of them will die.
  - Venat had, as a sort of apology for poor timing, linked their shards together so they'd always find each other when one was in mortal peril. this means they often died together in prior incarnations, adding to the soul trauma.
  - in this life, they first met when tallae was brought off the field during the immediate aftermath of the Calamity, where ili was working as a chirurgeon in gridania, not having become an adventurer yet. he'd been lending his aid to the conjurer's guild
- they have a semi-open marriage, but discuss any other relationships candidly and honestly, and talk to each other first before even starting overtures with another person.
  - ili's other partners include Captain Carvallain de Gorgagne, Leofard Myste, Emmenalian de Fortemps, amongst others
  - Tallae's other partners include Sadu "Heavensflame" Dotharl, Granson (off and on again), Cirina Mol,
  - past partners include- Haurchefant Greystone (canonically an actual third in the relationship until his death, and not just a separate, intermittent branch of the polycule), Aymeric de Borel (ili and tallae both had separate one night stands like a week apart several months after Haurcehfant died), Foulques (who did nothing wrong) amongst others
Reconstructed his preferred fairy, selene's atheromathematic formulae to further work as replacement for a carbuncle and other summons.
- this had unintended consequences. selene can no longer be unsummoned, and will act as if she has a mind of her own, usually in the form of attacking people who look at Tallae in a hostile manner.
Canonical classes-
- White Mage
- Scholar
- Astrologian
- Sage
- Dragoon
- Dancer
- Summoner
ili's cottage is located at- Primal: Lamia, The Goblet, 9th Ward, plot 22- Please feel free to visit, it gets remodeled occasionally, and if i'm logged in on him, i'm quite often there (i'm quite shy in game, but don't be afraid to say hi!)

comments

Getting this geared up in preperation for twitter being too much to deal with.

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 17:27:17 GMT

so in the process of gearing up my dreamwidth blog for the eventual twitter implosion (its a when, not an if situation, imo) i suppose i'll need to do a few things to get this place actually set up as more than an empty shell to start with.

up above is Chirurgeon Vami'li "ili" Pardal, who is my ffxiv main, and my favorite son. He also goes by "doctor". I'll do individual rundowns and posts with the bios of my various ffxiv characters after i finish dealing with my screenshot sorting backlog. (its fairly extensive)

comments